Thursday, July 9, 2015

Thank you...but

I want the first words of this post to be "thank you" -- because ever since I learned about my cancer and started sharing the news with family and friends, I've been overwhelmed by the love, support, and the healing words that all of you have been sending my way.

I should say, "our" way, because Jason and I have nothing but gratitude for everything you've been doing, whether that's the offer to make food, or the dish you dropped off at our front door, or the candy (you know who you are), or the rides you've provided to and from my many appointments, or simply the offer to help in any way you can. Just knowing you're here for us has helped me heal, and has helped both of us feel a little less lost.

But -- like that wise man Pee Wee Herman once said, "Tell me about your big 'but'" -- we thought it might be helpful to clarify a couple of things -- call it our "but" list:

  • The food offers have been so generous, but if we accepted them all, we'd be buried in food. For one thing, we have a small "European style" refrigerator, essentially a mini-fridge, so we can only fit so much in at any given time. Plus, frankly, we're not that challenged in preparing our meals, so while we appreciate the offers, we're pretty good on that front. If you truly feel compelled to bring something over, please check in with us before you do. I have to avoid meat and cheese, in general, so that eliminates a whole range of cuisine for me (I hope that changes soon!). 
  • Many of you have offered to help with rides to appointments, but you've been so generous with those, that we need some help managing who does what when. So we've set up a calendar of my various appointments, and if you want to offer a ride, you can use the calendar to sign up. As I type this, I'm still in awe of the fact that because so many of you are lining up to help, we actually need a calendar to keep track of it. 
  • Your words of support have been loving, heartfelt, and amazingly comforting, but there's one thing that we ask you to be mindful of: please don't tell us that we have to do something. We appreciate the concern, and we know that all of this comes from good, loving intentions, but it's not always easy to respond to the texts and emails and voicemails, and if your message is insistent, urging us that "you must do this thing!" or "take this supplement now!", the effect is anything but comforting. It creates stress. We've been collecting huge amounts of information and advice, links to articles, the names of various resources and experts, diet tips, etc., and we appreciate it, but we need to work through it in our own time and make our own decisions about the best course of action. 

We hope you'll take all of this in the spirit that it's offered -- one of thankfulness and appreciation -- and that you'll respect where we are right now.

We are blessed to have you in our lives.


  1. The only thing I *need* to do is eat some more fruit from our lovely Euro-style fridge!